I hope you slept well...

Angel,

I hope that you slept well. I hope that sleep came easily and deep and restful.  Though your body, strong and straight, relaxed and repaired from the days labours. I can imagine a tumble of curls spayed on the pillow, the sound of your breath and the slow steady rise and fall of your chest. I can imagine a crooked arm over your head and fingers curled and still. I can imagine the curve of your spine and flare of your hip – a bent leg and a half turn toward the window.

If I let myself,  I can imagine you rolling over to press your back to me and let my arm circle you in – and the scent from your hair filling my senses and my dreams. I can imagine your legs pressed against the length if mine and feel a slow cat like arch of your back as you press against me. I can imagine the softness of your skin and the strength of your muscles. I know the sounds of the bed sheets as you turn further still and a sleepy sigh.

I hope that in your sleep and in your turnings that you dreamt, not of the mundane of the day past, or of tasks to be completed in the days to come. I hope that you dreamt of the wild and the large, of freedom and flight, of infinite colours and impossible wonders become real. I hope that you dreamt of holding happiness in your hands and new that there were no limits. I hope that you dreamt of languages and love. I hope that you dreamt of worlds and skies and everything between. I hope that you dreamt knowledge of all these things and of the people who you hold dear. I hope that you dreamt the way that I dream of you.

I hope that when you woke, the dreams stayed with you  - like a mist around your shoulders – curling and elusive and just beyond grasp, but with you all the same. I hope that you woke, straight backed and strong – rested and happy – an unknown and secret smile that comes from lifted spirits. I hope you woke knowing your beauty and sure in your place in the world. I hope that you stood the goddess and vision that you are - and moved with incredible grace – lines and arches and freckled skin… I hope you woke to the world and saw you - the way I see you.

Just me.

 

A little nervous...

Angel,

I have a confession...

I am a little nervous about tonight. I am nervous because I know what is going to happen. It will happen, and you may never see it - or if you do, perhaps you will not trust it... and if I tell you what will happen, you will not believe.

But this is what is going to happen...

You are going to enter the party and I will see you across a noisy and crowded room. Perhaps I will catch your eye, or perhaps you will not be able to pick me out of the crowd...

But in that moment where I first catch sight of you, all else will stop - everything else will vanish. Stopped time and silence but for the pounding in my chest and your slow smile as you move through the room...

I know that the room will change - air and light and sound - and in that moment when all else has fallen from this earth - I will fall too... My breath will stop and I will be filled with an ache of longing and desire. Your beauty like splintered light from diamonds, or stars reflected in a calm ocean... the kind of sudden beauty that steals a man’s ability to express what he has just seen... Time stopped catches a man helpless...

I will be held spellbound by your wonder until the whole world comes crashing back... The turn of your head, a smile, losing you in the crowd... the frozen moment broken and I am released though the effects will resonate through me the whole night... like trying to find your sea legs on a ship... the earth has changed under my feet and I am unsettled...

Later, I will hold you close - and that frozen moment will still be with me - the impossibility of this angel in my arms will rattle me to the core... I want to show you how you make me feel. I want to show you your impossible and wondrous light and beauty. I want you to feel as special as you make me feel. I want to make you undeniably happy. I hope that I can achieve it.

Just me.

Happy Anniversary - kind of anniversary...

To The Lady on the Train,

Five years ago today you changed my entire perception of the world with just a few words. It was like dropping a pebble into the ocean and the ring of ripples started by that pebble have been spreading since.

You have made me very happy. You have made me better.

With my whole heart,
Unconditionally,

I love you.

The Man in the Station