I still miss you

To The Lady on the Train,

I miss you. I want to see you.
But more than that, I wish that you felt the same.

The Man in the Station

I have missed you...

To The Lady on the Train,

I wish that I could tell you that I have missed you. But more than that, I wish to hear those words from you. I want to feel like you can't wait to see me in the same way that I can't wait to see you.

I know that I won't get that. I don't think that I will ever have someone miss me the way I want to be missed. And so I will concentrate on the immediate tasks at hand. I will keep my thoughts to getting the job done and know that I am appreciated.

The Man in the Station

Within the grain...

To The Lady on the Train,

There are items, songs, places that, for me, belong to no one else but you. Though I have been here many times and there are signs of you everywhere, today I was struck by something that is steeped with your ghost.

The dining room table holds your scent so strongly, that I could close my eyes and believe that you were sitting with me. I can smell your perfume in the wood...

The Man in the Station

Who you were meant to be

To The Lady on the Train,

I will take you for who you are and who you were meant to be.
I give a damn. I will take you, not leave you.

Unconditionally. Always.

The Man in the Station

Fools...

To The Lady on the Train,

Fools are those men who had your attention, your interest, your friendship, or your love and squandered it. They do not know the wonders that they let pass. Any man who has had the privilege to hold you and let you go must surely be insane. It frightens me to think that I might have been among them and I count myself blessed that I am not.

The Man in the Station

Happy Valentine's Day.

To The Lady on the Train,

This is not the Valentine's Day that we have chosen for ourselves, but I will still wish you...

A Happy Valentine's Day. 

May love always find you.

The Man in the Station

I wish that I could tell you...

Angel,

I wish I could tell you that…

sometimes I am lonely.

sometimes I am frustrated with our situation.

sometimes I am angry when you go away.

sometimes you go away when I need you most.

sometimes I think dark thoughts.

sometimes I think that I could go back to her and make it work.

sometimes I wonder if I made the right decisions.

sometimes I wonder if I will ever have the kind of love that I want.

sometimes I am afraid of growing old alone.

I have killed possible relationships before they can start.

I want to marry you.

I wish you wanted to be with me as much as I want to be you.

I worry about our future together.

I worry about you.

I hate it when things are not good between us.

But I can’t tell you these things… you will take them as your responsibility.

And I do not want to focus on the negative.

So I tell you everything else… I tell you all of the things that bring me joy…

I share with you the way you make me feel, the way I see you…

I tell you about your beauty.

I tell you about the wonders that I see.

I share with you all of the love and beauty that I see and feel and keep the fleeting negative moments from you. You don’t need to see the darker side of me.

Just Me.

Geese calling the Spring

It is early February, but has been an uncommonly warm and almost snowless winter. It feels like spring already. The groundhog has predicted an early spring - a rodent is not needed to tell us this... there are other signs that spring is on it's way.

There is an urgency to the dogs running and sniffing - like a rediscovery of a world that has been missed... there is a lightness in the steps and faces of those walking in parks and on streets... there is a bright slant of sun that feels just a little warmer..

Walking slowly on the path, head down, lost in thought and kept company by my snuffling companion, I am pulled into the world by a call of changing seasons... It takes a while to realize what I am hearing and longer to believe it. Across a wide green windswept field and over a cold pond comes the unmistakable sound of low flying geese.

This was not a stray gaggle of geese that sometimes winters near urban centres. This was wave upon wave of great formations moving across the blue expanse. They moved like crests about to reach shore, undulating, breaking apart and reforming... Dozens and dozens of geese, hundreds of them, giant vee shaped lines, one after the other - the lead formation calling the way - the others following their lead.

It is like they are calling spring to follow them - or pulling it along with them in their wake - an invisible tow line behind them dragging spring toward the strengthening sun. The geese have called to spring and it has answered "I'm coming".

The geese are driven to bring forth the spring. It is their duty that has been entrusted to them - and for centuries they have fulfilled the charge.  Come the fall, they will call away the sun, announcing the colder weather. But today, they herald the coming of spring - they sing it to me and I can't help but smile. My four legged companion watches them move across the sky too - and his steps seem lighter too. We watch them together, until they have passed beyond our sight.