On Love..

A morning wish...

Good morning, Beautiful.

I hope that you slept well and that as the stars wheeled overhead on this moonless night that you dreamt sweet dreams. I hope that you dreamt of magic and wonders, of flight, of breathing under water, of standing on stars, of holding the moon in the palm of your hand.. I hope that you dreamt of the things that can only happen in our dreams… of standing on the back of a whale as it carried you to new lands waiting for you…

I hope that you dreamt of those who love you, of lost friends found anew, of smiling family, of children playing.. I hope that you dreamt of laughter in schoolyards, of rain storms and thunder that rattles in your chest.. I hope that you dreamt of walking in a quiet deep forest, of hearing the whispering trees and dappled light… I hope that you dreamt the world you want to see…

I hope that as you woke and the dreams swirled, as you were held in that magical place between sleep and awake, that a smile rested upon your lips. I hope that as you lay in your bed letting the world seep in that the dreams stay with you a while. I hope as you rose from your bed, white limbs, freckled back and riotous hair, that you felt rested and strong. I hope that as your eyes turned toward the day you saw it laid out before you full of hope and wonder.. I hope that if a thought turned to me that it made you smile and you knew that I was thinking of you..

Me.

Good morning...

Good morning, Beautiful.

I hope that you slept well and that as you rested that you were able to lay down any worries, concerns and cares for a while. I hope that your mind was at ease and that you dreamt sweet dreams.

As the stars in a velvet sky turned overhead, I hope that you dreamt of yourself tall and straight and strong. I hope that you dreamt of your feet on white sand and a warm breeze – your curls spilling out like root beer over shoulders freckled in constellations. I hope that you dreamt of your brilliant almond eyes, the backs of your hands and red finger nails..

I hope that you dreamt of giant eagles circling overhead then swooping down to land before you, bowing to you as you climbed onto their backs. I hope that you dreamt that the eagles rose into the air with their powerful wings carrying you on their backs. I hope you dreamt of  talons and a sharp beak and yellow beaded eye and felt the rush of the wind as the world fell away below you. I hope you dreamt of the loud piercing cry and the echo from the canyons. I hope that you soared over plains and rivers and mountains. I hope that you felt your heart beat and the blood in your veins and a wild thrilling calm of a fierce spirit within.

I hope that you dreamt that she obeyed your every command without voice, flying to wherever you desired, diving at breakneck speed and gently gliding on warm breezes. I hope that in your dreams you shouted out to the world a war cry of triumph and your voice rang for miles. And I hope that when it was time to return you felt safe in the ruffled feathers and the beating wings as she landed back on the beach. I hope that in your dreams as she flew back into the air, circled once and called out before vanishing over the horizon, that you knew that you could call her back.

I hope that you dreamt of blue skies and swift moving white clouds – waves rolling up to the beach and the rhythmic sigh of the ocean breathing. I hope that you dreamt of warmth and light and in the remaining day, the promise of happy ease. I hope that you dreamt of you in a place of sun-kissed skin and sand and water and the company of those who love you best.

In your dream, I hope that you smiled such that even the sun could not compare.

Just me.

 

 

A few brief moments...

To The Lady on the Train,

It was only for a few brief moments that I could see you... You were busy and distracted... At your desk, hair pulled back, fingers barely leaving the keyboard. A hint of frustration in your face and voice contrasted with your response that your day was going okay...

Sometimes you look so small, so drawn into yourself... You are steeled against everything that is going on, hard as rock and pushing through... You are one of the toughest and strongest people I know - you are a wonder, no doubt.

I will confess that a part of me wanted to scoop you up, have you put your arms around me and to let me hold you for a while - not out of pity or because you are not strong - but support. I wanted to help - to take some burden - or to take care of you in some way - to feel you relax against me, if even for a moment... But that would be the last thing that you would want - you need to get through things on your own.

It was only a few brief moments and you were steel and beautiful... Dark eyes, rounded and steady -straight backed and tense... A river that has a calm glass surface but once you step in, you realize how deep and strong the current is... Strong enough to carve it's way into mountains and through rock - always pushing forward - unstoppable.

I could let myself be swept down that river - winding through valleys, past canyons - through wild and fast rapids - through lazy slow sections - winding past new and different landscapes - never knowing excatly where I am going, but always somewhere new and exciting. I would followe her course through any terrain, through any weather, to whatever destination she might lead.... To explore the river is the destination.

From The Man in the Station

A quick kiss...

Angel,

I told you that I would want to write to you about how I feel and the you that I see whenever I look at you - whenever I get to spend a bit of time with you. I could write about the precious times where we are locked away from the world and nothing exists but us and the moment that we are in... I could write about how those moments are timeless and yet so ephemeral - how those moments have such gravity that time is changed - lasting forever and over too soon...

I could write about those times when we are among other people - sitting in your office, walking in the underground, sitting in food court or sitting in the station waiting for a train.  I could tell you about those times and the comfort, ease and joy I feel with your company and friendship. I could also tell you about the internal wrestling that I endure with wanting to be able to hold your hand, or reach out to pull you close... the desire to be able to feel you stand close to me uninhibited...

I could tell you about those times when we are at party... those times when you have done your hair and dressed up.. those times when you are having fun, feeling flirty, a smile radiates lighting up the room, and your eyes shining.  I could tell you how your beauty is an irresistible and the way you move can make a man's blood rush and his knees weak.

I could tell you about all of those moments and many many more...

I want to tell you about a moment that lasted no more than a couple of seconds... We had walked to the bus station - we simply talked along the way about the usual things that take up one's day and thoughts. We hadn't seen or spoken much in the last couple of days because of.. well, life - and this short walk certainly wasn't enough time to reconnect and to find our ground.. and time is never on our side and a rush is always the wall we find ourselves against.. The bus was already waiting.

We kissed as we left each other - a quick peck that one could share with family and friends - common and innocent... But for me, in that small moment of less than a second, I took in as much of you as I could... I felt the warmth of your lips and the softness of your cheek.. In that moment I felt the spark of a reconnect and a memory of our kiss.. I could imagine being able to put my arms around you to hold you close and to kiss you the way that I long to.. In that brief kiss, I could already feel the beginnings of the tumble - the falling into empty space that holds only us... In the briefest of kisses, there can me a magical power that will change a simple good-bye into a memory of what was, a reminder of what is, and a promise of what is yet to come... I wanted to hold your hand as we walked. I wanted to hold you close if even for a moment. In that kiss, I was able to feel a hint of those things...

You are beautiful and you poses an incredible magic... you change time and space without knowing that you can... and in a kiss, you can make a world vanish.

Just me.

One morning...

The first morning light begins to make the room almost imperceptibly brighter. Songs of birds have drifted into our dreams and the edge of our conciseness for the past hour. We have woven their mating trills and calls into our dreams, scarcely able to tell dreams from life. Through closed eyelids, the sounds of our room and beyond, and the soft breeze from the window I know that dawn is coming though it is still dark.

You are still deep in sleep, limbs flung and back curled towards me. You hair is a wild tumble - your breath slow and deep. I am afraid to move. I am torn between keeping absolutely still, getting up, and touching you. I ache to feel you yet do not want to disturb your beautiful sleep.

These last few days have been a dream. This cottage has seen us talk and play and fight and love. It has cocooned us from wild storms when lightning danced across the lake and thunder shook windows and reverberated in our chests. We ran out into the rain feeling the heavy drops pelt our skin. We yelled into the sky - defying nature and laughing until tears streamed down our faces. We warmed our bones in front of a fire and drank wine until we finally fell asleep on the floor, exhausted, wrapped in blankets

We have made love in every room. We have made love in the meadows and in the woods. We skinny dipped underneath a cup of a slivered moon that spilled out a million stars across a big sky - the milky way a ribbon and a shooting star that now carries my truest wish.

In the black silk of water you wrapped your arms and your legs around me as we turned slowly like a dance. We kissed our kiss and held onto each other for a long time. After making love in the lake under the moon and stars to held me so tight and buried your face in my neck. Without seeing them, I knew the shape of your eyes.. I could feel your warmth and the beat of your heart.

We walked hand in hand and in silence back up to the glow and warmth of the cottage afterwards. We spoke little the rest of the night but we were always touching... elbows as we made dinner, feet under the table... we didn't want to break contact. sometimes a touch can say what a word never can.

I am now awake and thinking of this week and the room brightens further. Your breath changes and you change position and stretch... it is the stretch that makes my decision.

I place a kiss soft as air on the back of your neck... and feel you arch..

Our Bed...

Our bed holds the memory of you. The pillows that cradled your tumble of brown curls spilling out like root beer holds a gentle dent still. Tea coloured sheets on your side of the bed are rumpled in the shapes of your limbs. 

 The scent of you is steeped into the mattress. The oil slowly pressed onto your skin now sponged as you turned beneath me. The weight of our two bodies as you opened yourself up to me pressed our lovemaking into the bed  

This bed knows our sighs and moans. This bed knows our whispers and our cries. This bed knows our tears and it knows our laughter. This bed knows us tender and slow and it knows us desperately  shaking and clawing. ‎This bed knows the very best of us and had sheltered us from our worst.   

But in this early morning our bed remembers you and won't let me forget. I will lay here and remember your long white limbs, the soft round of your bum, the strength of your shoulders, I will remember the feel of your breasts and the arch of your back as my kisses traced below your navel.   I will remember your breath on my neck and tumbling into your eyes. 

Our bed holds your memory in fading scent. And it awaits your return. 

 

Truth..

Angel,

You are way out of my league. Indeed, you are beyond the league of most mortal men. So I know how lucky I am that you ever turned your eyes in my direction.

I still sometimes have a hard time believing it.

Just me