Thinking of you...

‎
Angel,

You are my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. You are never far from me and I carry you still.

There are nights that you come to me in my dreams that feel so real that in my waking I fight to stay asleep. I find myself in that twilight between worlds, angered and dismayed in the knowledge that the day will win.

As my feet meet the hardwood flooring and I rise from my bed I can feel the slumber and dreams fall away from my shoulders. The morning shower feels like washing away the final remnants of dreams. But they never completely fade.

While being pulled into the city on the streetcar your face still comes to me. Your hair may be up or tumbling, cheeks soft, a quiet smile and eyes turned to me with a hint of sadness. I can feel your cheek next to mine, breath in your scent‎ and feel you as I draw you into my arms.

And through the day I find that mind will turn to you and I will wonder if your thoughts ever turn to me. I imagine that you wonder if I am thinking about you. So here it is: I am thinking about you.

I will spend my days and evenings keeping busy and my mind occupied. Even then I have you very near to me. ‎You show up unexpectedly and in different forms. It may be the buzzing of my phone and my heart races in the hopes it is you who has messaged me. It may be a scent or the grinding sounds of streetcars or rain or a breeze moving the hair on my arm. I carry you with me still.

Tonight I will climb into my bed and I will be thinking about you. I will turn in white sheets and hear the rustle of your turning. I will eventually drift to sleep and hope to meet you in my dreams.

Thinking of you...

Always...

Just me.