Night Wanderings...

Angel,

It is late fall and a giant moth has battered against and finally landed on the window, no doubt drawn to the  light spilling out from the cottage. You go to investigate the belly of the creature repulsed and fascinated by it while I clear our dishes from the table and then bend at the fireplace, readying it for later. The night is clear and cold, making the arrival of the moth a surprise.

“I can’t go outside if this thing is still here” you say to me over your shoulder.

“He will be gone before we go out” I promise.

“How? You’re not going to hurt it.” you ask and warn with a single tone.

“Watch” I say as I turn on the laneway lights and pull the curtain. We stand waiting as I whisper the thoughts of the moth in your ear. You bow your head and smile as I make nonsense. When I open the curtain, the moth has flown away, pulled away by some other light.

“Okay – but it’s cold outside – do we have to go out? We could just stay in here where it’s warm….” A teasing wry look to tempt me.

I consider the temptation as look up at the sky through the window. Seeing the slant of moonlight on the cedars resolves me. “Just a quick walk” I say.

“Okay” you say with everything that says it really isn’t okay.

We get dressed for our cold night time adventure – me with enthusiasm, you as if having teeth pulled would be more appealing. Finally I take you by the hand and lead you out the door. It is colder than either of us expected and our breath hangs in the air until it wisps away. You dart me a look with your dark eyes that tells me that this had better be worth it. “Come..” I whisper and pull you down the steps, away from the warmth and comfort of the cottage and into the night.

The frost on the ground crunches beneath our feet as we walk up the lane toward the meadow. “Where are we going?” you ask.

“Just come”  I say as I reach back to clasp your mittened hand. We walk close together in silence. The only sound is our breathing and the frozen crunch of our steps. As we emerge from the tall dark trees and  reach the meadow and it’s tall grasses, I can hear a catch in your breath. Although it is a clear night, the moon is full and silver, swimming through a sky of stars beyond count or even belief. The long grasses of the meadow are covered in frost and looks like a blanket of silver. Moon and stars above, their light caught in the field at our feet, and the whole world simmers in this ghostly light.

I walk ahead, leaving a dark trail for you to follow… my crooked path a tear in the silver blanket.. We walk to the center of the meadow, I turn and wait for you. I watch you pick your way toward me – the moonlight in your hair, your face haloed, frosted waist-high grass and stars on a velvet sky… an angel on this earth… When you reach me you press your cold nose to my cheek and I am filled the scents you carry, our warmth shared and pushing out some of the cold. “Just a little further” I say as I kiss your cheek and feel it warming under my lips. We walk the way hand in hand and in silence – I am too filled to speak..

We press our way to the far end of the meadow and follow a path leads through a small thicket and ends at a rocky point. We step out until we are inches from the water. The lake is a black glass and silent – and a perfect reflection of the sky above. We are suspended in a new world with two moons, one above and one below us – and stars in every direction. We hold on to one another and float in a place where gravity and direction have no meaning. We anchor each other and if not for the other we could tumble forever in any direction.

We stand in the cold, the only sound our own breathing and we marvel at the magic of moonlight and starlight in the seas of black. I can see the universe and wonder shining in your eyes. I have now placed my Angel back among the stars. I cannot speak though you are waiting for me to say something… We stand in silence and marvel until I feel the smallest of shivers in you, bringing me back to earth.

“Let’s get warmed up – I will make coffee while you climb under a blanket by the fire” I tug you back.

You lean in toward me and kiss me with slow passion that tells me that you know what I have seen, a glimpse through my eyes… “Thank you” you whisper..

We turn back toward home with our feet on the ground, our heads in the stars and our hearts lifted above all.

Just me.