Grey December...

Angel, 

We stand on the shore of a great lake on a cold grey day. The sky is so flat that we cannot tell where it meets round belly of the horizon. The wind coming from the lake is cold and heavy with mist. 

Your hair pulled back and almost tame is now becoming curlier and wilder. You smile sadly, bowing your head and mutter something about looking bad. You want to escape to fix it but stay beside me - suffering through your worry. 

I want to tell you that you look wonderful, but you wouldn't believe me and would drop the words like stones. I keep my silence, looking at my feet - but the truth is that you do look wonderful. I want to tell you how I revel in the untamed wildness of your hair. My eyes fall into the tangle and curl, following the patterns and chaos and the way the wind moves it. 

I cannot tell you about your beauty and how in this light I can see every line, freckle, and lash on your face. I can only look and ache. I want to trace your lines with my fingertips and follow the contour of your cheek with my thumb and feel the shared warmth of our skin in this damp cold day. I want to feel the press of your nose to my temple as you kiss my cheek. 

You do not believe your own beauty. I want to show you the way the shape of your face fills me and has settled somewhere deep within me. Your lips have pressed a kiss on my skin that has now settled on my heart. To see the grace of your eyes I have only to close my own. Your beauty is a light that shines bright on this grey day. To me it is a beacon calling from which I cannot turn away. 

So we stand side by side - huddled close and in silence. We stand in the wet and cold on the edge of a great grey void feeling warmth emanating from each other. I cannot speak these thing and have you believe them so I turn to you and pull you close. I will kiss you and hope that you can feel how it is you make me feel. I will kiss you on this beach in the mists and let all the world vanish for a moment. And then I will look into your eyes - your miraculously changeable eyes. We will smile at each other and I will be filled with warmth. 

In my eyes I pray that you can finally see reflected back all the beauty that I see. 

With my eyes...

Just me.